Live, (Love?,) and Learn

I've been very reflective as of late. I've been debating posting this for a while because these are things that are very personal to me. If it is vague and confusing, then you probably don't know all the details.

What I learned from Brandon:
-I learned how to be myself with the person I was dating
-People often come into each other's lives for a reason
-I learned how to be loyal and committed (from 2000 miles apart)
-Because we were close for a couple years, I really figured out who I am and started to realize what I wanted in a guy
-How to have forever long, hilarious conversations about people and ideas
-I learned where to turn for peace


What I learned from Steve:
-How you handle conflict now shows in a small way how you will handle conflict in the future
-Seemingly small decisions lead to bigger decisions that could change your life. i.e. what to do with your free time, who or what you turn to when life gets hard, whether or not to pray or get help.
-Everyone has their agency. No matter who is right or wrong, each person can make their choices. You can choose to let Heavenly Father help or not
-Relationships take work. If you make a real commitment, do everything you can to make the relationship work. If you put forth all your effort emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally, you will have no regrets.
-Potential doesn't mean anything without hard work
-When things get tough, romantic love isn't enough. You have to have companionship love to serve each other and seek out the best for each other.
-Heavenly Father can help you get through things you couldn't imagine, if you rely on him
-Sometimes the kindest thing to do is to let people go
-Heavenly Father prepares us for trials by giving us smaller trials to learn from, and by putting people in our lives to help us out.
-You can choose who you love

What I learned from Tex:
(This one is most recent so the least figured out)


Hopefully these ramblings are in no way hurtful or offensive, I didn't mean anything by this rough draft. I want to write a book someday about my life experiences. I think I will write it when I have a happy ending though. Or at least, an ending.

What happened when I didn't go to India

I think there are two types of travelers: Those who like to go for sightseeing and those who like to go to make a difference. I like to go to nearby places for sightseeing, but what I really want to do is travel and try saving the world through volunteering and such. If I was going to travel far I would feel so selfish if it was purely for pleasure, not unless it was for a honeymoon or something.

Two years ago I applied to a field study to go to India. I felt really good about it and was really excited. I was accepted and was pumped to work in the orphanages while getting credit for human development classes, and to see all the different religions there. I had just survived the worst year possible and so the timing seemed great for a new start.

But then one day (about the time I was researching my plane ticket) I didn't feel good about going. So I canceled my field study and avoided talking about it because it made me so sad. I knew there had to be a reason why I felt like I shouldn't go, maybe safety? Maybe my E.C. would find me that fall?

And then I had an uneventful semester in Utah.

But now, I think I know why I wasn't supposed to go. If I had gone to India, I would have pushed back my graduation by a year. I wouldn't have graduated with my amazing friends. I wouldn't have student taught with Rachael, my favorite coworker. I would have graduated at a time when they fire more teachers than they hire. I wouldn't have had my amazing mentor teachers and this year's students. That's why I didn't go. Maybe I'll go next year in the summer or something?

Reflection/Bragging time: I did it. I graduated and found my dream job (that I didn't know would be my dream job). I busted out my schooling in four years and graduated at 21. I stayed in school even though everyone told me it would be okay to take time off and put my life back together. I stayed in school even though my Junior year I fit one of the five reasons you can drop out at any time. I stayed in school even after falling in love and watching him destroy his life.

Anna, Laurel, Shelly, and I:

Anna helped me stay in school. When I was going through a rough time and would go to school one or two hours late every day, she would call me and save me a seat. She held my hand and walked me through the tough times. She helped distract me and helped me focus. When NWA's job interviews were full, she gave me her interview slot because she "felt like it was a better fit" for me. She's an angel to me.

Wow, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life and things are going so good. Heavenly Father loves me and shows me by always watching out for me and guiding me. Life hasn't turned out how I planned, but it many ways it is better!

Weekends Away

Vegas was so fun! We squished a dozen people into one hotel room in the Bellagio. I was hoping for a fun weekend outside of Provo to tape over some holiday memories from the year before, and ended up making some incredible friends! Loved it!










We had an awesome trip to Idaho. Noelle, Chelsea, and I went with a bunch of our Salt Lake friends


Our gorgeous mansion cabin


West's birthday

built our awesome snowman and blew her up

and snowmobiling